weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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