It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
