For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
