I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
