You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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