'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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