i'm signing you up for texting rehab
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize