everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
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He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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