How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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