Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
