Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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