So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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