I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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