Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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