I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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