after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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