Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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