been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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