this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
