does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
