listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
