im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
