Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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