Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She is in my trunk
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
