shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
