definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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