she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Your cock deserves a montage
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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