I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
