When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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