I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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