What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
