i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
