Screwed.edu
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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