i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
