So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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