i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
