i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
