my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
