I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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