woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's always time for handjobs
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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