Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
