I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
