Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
