do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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