No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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