one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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