Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
