the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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