giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When did angry sex become our thing?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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