I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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