Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize