I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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