Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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