Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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