Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Randomize
