Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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