That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
