It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
