I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
